As The Coachmans (me, Dale, & Cullen) were walking to the Brooklyn Children’s Museum yesterday in the snow, Dale started to sing his own version of Kirk Franklin’s “Why Do I Sing?”. It was funny and cute. It was also the truth.

I’ve been singing around the house lately. To Cullen. To Dale. In the Shower. While I’m cooking. While I’m working. You get the picture?! I’ve been singing more than I sang probably during the entire year of 2010. I love to sing but over the years I’ve become very disappointed and consequently, insecure of my voice quality. I don’t sing like I used to when I was a token Black girl in the Concert Choir at my predominantly white high school. I don’t sing like I used to in front of family and friends during holidays and birthday celebrations. The point is….I miss singing. In depth, I miss the Tia that I know myself to be. Not just the singing Tia but the sassy Tia, the unafraid Tia, the unabridged Tia.

Fortunately, my last post put it out there for all to see and for the universe to absorb….I’m back….and, in full effect.

So, now, I sing.

I know I gotta stop doing this…this disappearing act. It’s just that I haven’t really had time to sit and write. But, things are changing. You’ll see…

Anywhoo, my friend Nuri sent me to this website where some folks are prompting responses for blog writers by asking them/us daily reflective questions about our life in 2010. They (#reverb10) started this on December 1. I’m starting today – Decemebr 15, 2010. Don’t judge me. Please and Thank You.

So, here’s the prompt….response to follow:

5 minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.

1. Cullen crawling up his grandparents stairs before he started walking…He’s ahead of his time.

2. Cullen tasting real food for the first time…He makes the cutest faces.

3. Cullen’s first smile…He’s gorgeous.

4. Cullen giving me real hugs…He’s so sweet and has such an old soul.

5. Getting my real estate license…Long-term goal accomplished…Check!

6. Coachman Fish Fry 2010…Sorry you missed it…

7. My 27th Birthday Party in DC….although I really don’t remember, I heard it was a GOOD TIME. Ha!

8. The Quinns telling us that they are having a baby….I fainted for the first time in my life.

9. My godson, Rashad Escarne, is the cutest little bit of chocolate…..next to Cullen.

10. Working in DUMBO….Working with Monique…She’s such an inspiration. Love Her.

11. Feeling myself grow everyday….I mean, really feeling the growth. AMAZING.

Inspiration comes to you in due time.
So, I’ve been away from this for a good long minute. Taking the time to sit & breathe & relax & write is not my strong suit. But, I’m learning. I was just about to work out, then my Wii Trainer reminded me that it’s my rest day. (whew!). So, I sat down & breathed & relaxed & decided to write.

After thinking about today’s events, I realized that the tragedy of life that unfolded yesterday was resolved today. And, the prospect of my tomorrow is much brighter today then it was yesterday. Seriously, I didn’t know if I was going to make it yesterday. They say when it rains, it pours. They (whoever they are) weren’t just talking about the heavy, ugly rain, but also, the the type of rain the comes when sun is bright. I love that type of rain. It inspires me. I guess you can tell….it rained today.

Back to the future…it’s gonna be bright. And, sometimes, it’s gonna rain. I am calmed by knowing that when it rains, it pours…for better and for worse. I’m writing this while Cullen is laying next to me biting his toy to soothe the pain of teething. I’m writing this because I can now tell him it’ll be alright.

My little ninja wu’s name is Cullen Amiri. And, boy, is he a ninja!

The book was right….he moves all the time. He plays with his daddy (if he gets poked, he’ll punch him right back….I think that’s my fiestiness in him).

He lets me know when he’s hungry or when he’s waking up. His daddy lets him listen to Common and Coltrane, Kanye and Kool and the Gang…..durin music time, he’s chillin’.

He wakes me up at 4am every morning and takes his naps throughout the day.

Whoa! There he goes….stretching out. Like his daddy, he’s serious about his space.

Ouch! That one was kinda serious….sheesh! Now, I think he’s holding the black power fist up against my side.

In the words of my fellow Bison, Eric Roberson:

….that kid must love karate, my little ninja wu! I can’t wait ’til you get here so I can look at you. Will you have eyes like mama? Oooh! What about your smile? Will your first word be papa? Oooh! What a spoiled child?…from arms to arms and from pops to moms then from aunts and on and on….

Soooo…..I just feel like writing.

I guess that’s the purpose of this thing (blog)….to get my thoughts out of my head. Lately, I’ve been thinking about my life and about how I am ready for the next chapter. With Mr. Cullen (btw, that’s the baby’s name and yes, he’s a boy) on his way, I have to get my ish together real quick (a little over 3 months left).

My husband asked me if I was depressed today. I am not. But, I am pressed (as they say in the DMV) to make some moves. Shannon calls it soul-searching, the step you need to make just prior to making major moves. It’s not easy but when it’s time to search your soul…you’ll know it…because you can’t think of or do anything else.

Now, there are no instructions on exactly how to search your soul. You just gotta do it. For me, I have to get some tea, get naked (it’s hot in Brooklyn and pregnancy=internal temperature of fire), and sit on a comfy surface in the quiet of my apartment and try to still my thoughts along enough to let some new ones come through. Have a pen and paper near and jot down things/thoughts that I KNOW I’ll forget. (I forget plenty.)

So far, it’s working for me. But, I still feel like I have a lot more searching to do.

Stay tuned…

So….my car was stolen. (Long story, don’t worry about it.) Luckily, it was found but it is damaged and my insurance company is gonna fix it….eventually. In order to process the claim, they apparently need a copy of my most recent service record. Well, of course, my husband just threw away bags and boxes of paperwork that we deemed ‘unecessary’ as we transform our home office into a nursery for our little one on the way. And, of course, old receipts of oil changes and such for the car were included in the ‘unecessary’ crew. Basically, I was stuck like Chuck…..until I had the craziest idea to call up the service location which last serviced my car. Not so crazy, you say? Well, wait ’til you hear what the folks at at this well-known establishment had to say about my idea.

Very politely, I ask the Meineke man, “Is there any way that I can get a duplicate copy of my receipt from my recent service that I received from there?”

“Hell no!”, he says. (Sike! – but he might as well…it might’ve been better than what he really said) After looking up my name and the approximate date of service, he actually says “You’re not in the system so I can’t give you a receipt.”

Now, I’m thinking (and saying) “What do you mean, I’m not in the system? Are you trying to say that I didn’t come there and get an oil change? Not in the system as in I never existed?” By this time, I’m getting pretty pissed because 1) I’m confused as to how these people are conducting business and 2) they are my only option for getting this insurance guy all the paperwork he needs so he can finish processing my claim so I can get my car back! Ugh!!! Did I mention that I’m pregnant and highly irritable these days?

ANYHOO….So I provided the descriptions of the two guys who were working in the shop when I was there, in an attempt to prove my existence, you see? And, it turns out that I’m not so crazy after all. It just so happens that the guy who managed my transaction was the store manager. YES! Someone who can work some thangs out for me. (not really….keep reading)

So, I’m transferred to the manager. I explained to him the situation. Again, he bangs on the keyboard of his computer (yes, I could hear it) and says, “You’re not in the system. Did you pay with cash?” Which I believe I did…which proved to be the problem.

He proceeds to tell me that since I paid with cash, I was not put into the system. And, not only that, but I was given a discount because this store doesn’t charge full price for customers who pay with cash.  And, the cash doesn’t get deposited into the cash register..Instead, it is put elsewhere and given to the store owner. And, you don’t get a receipt as proof of this discounted purchase. So, I’m taking all this in. My conclusion comes to my own surprise….but I ask the question anyway, “Sir, are you telling me that you are stealing from Meineke?”

This manager of this franchise Meineke store is straight-up telling me that customers who pay with cash do not pay the price for service which is dictated by corporate Meineke and instead, the cash money is given to the franchise owner. I can’t help to think “Is this really happening?” Lost in my confusion, I ignored his answer to my previous question and so I asked, “Sir, is this legal?”  His response in his Trini-Indian accent is, “Yep.” I can’t believe it. But, what can I say? I threatened to call Meineke corporate and his reaction clearly told me that he really didn’t effin care.

Needless to say, I had to digest this. So, I hung up.

Still left without a receipt. Still no car. My socially conscious mind is telling me to call Meineke’s corporate offices and find out if they know about this type of goings-on. It’s the right thing to do, right? But, at the same time, I really don’t want to get involved. I just want my car back so I don’t have to walk all over brooklyn just to get my fix…that is a Ft. Greene Burger from Mullane’s. Can’t I just call Geico and say “I don’t have the danged receipt! Get over it!”

Ugh…..I’ll keep you posted.

So this is my first real/personal introduction to the blogosphere.

Hi! I’m glad to be here…..I think. We’ll see. Hopefully, we’ll become friends as I share my thoughts on this journey called life with you.

I’m direct. So, yes, I’ll probably be talking directly to you. You can talk back (make a comment) or you can just listen/read. Either way, do you….and I’mma do me.

Enjoy!

PS. If you don’t know me from Eve, check out the About page.